Talkin' only me and you.

Cummon.

I miss live music. I miss nights out. I miss my friends. I miss my life.

This illness is the most frustrating thing, I hate it more than all of the morons in the world put together.

It is completely debilitating and all-consuming. I am so lost.

I am hard to deal with at the moment and I know Matt tries his hardest, but I just want somebody to feel what I feel and know what I have to deal with daily and then to help or advise me. Just saying ‘it’ll all be ok’ is fine, but it doesn’t mean anything. I know it’ll all be ok in the end, I just need to get through now and that’s the problem. When there’s nobody around and nothing to do everything is harder, and that’s what there is in Birmingham…nobody and nothing and I hate it.

I want a pet (basically I want a puppy)…something to come on walks with me, keep me company and give me cuddles.

I want to not be fed up all the time.

I want this to go away.

I want my life back.

I’m so tried of saying I want and I need.

Bad weekend = this rant.

Happiness?

There is no greater release than a smile,

There is no greater sound than a laugh,

There is no greater feeling than happiness,

Just let it out,

Even when there isn’t much there,

A little joy goes a long way.

There is nothing more infectious than a giggle,

There is nothing more satisfying than a chuckle,

There is nothing more wonderful than a grin.

Infect everybody,

Infect everybody with your euphoria.

A little joy goes a long way.

Grow up.

I still cannot believe that some people are so childish, it’s like dealing with 13 year old girls in a playground, except you’re 20, and a guy.

Most guys are convinced that ‘all girls are mental’, this whole palaver proves that statement completely false. It turns it on it’s head really.

I reckon that there isn’t anything I’ve done, you just liked the tension and attention you got about it. I think you like causing problems. Ignoring somebody for two months. Grow up.

Now I’m out of the little bubble I was in, I see what you do and I think it’s pathetic, you are pathetic. Grow up and change how you treat people.

You know that you are hurting me and you don’t care. Malicious and cruel. Grow up.

There is nothing better than a bit of childish behaviour, I would be the first person to admit that, but only when it’s appropriate.

Last night was spent making a ‘Party Waterbuffalo’ (that is a toy waterbuffalo wearing special hats, colourful elastic bands, lights and eating chocolates), whilst listening to Christmas songs and drawing Christmas objects.

Fun and childish, but it kept Clare, Emily and I amused.

We definitely shouldn’t grow up.

Soaking.

Standard Manchester. Every time a walk to anywhere is needed the heavens open, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is refreshing I suppose.

This morning went quickly, it was enjoyable spending time with different people for a change. I need to start doing that more.

I did not expect them to be so cynical…

“I would never marry anybody, it’s a waste of time, money and effort. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s only a bit of paper and a nice ring.”

I think that is cynicism at it’s worst. Marriage means something. It may not be necessary for everybody, but I certainly would want to marry. It is showing somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with them. What’s better than that?